Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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