you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
