It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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