So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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