I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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