cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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