I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize