Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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