Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
