it's not cheating when I paid for it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
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Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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