i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
