I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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