i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
