I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
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Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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