I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
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Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
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We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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