You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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