there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
