If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dick very happy bro
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
