White coat. Heels.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
