I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Who died my cat blue again?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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