Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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