someone get that fucking seahorse.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
