Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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