we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Im part way to drunk.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
