You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
