the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
