I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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