i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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