i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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