Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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