Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
