Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize