I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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