Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
