so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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