First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
