We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize