Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
