She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
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Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
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I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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