I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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