I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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