So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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