She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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