Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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