Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
