worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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