all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
