i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
