Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
