I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
