Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
we're so committed to being not committed
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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