Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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