first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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