the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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