Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
