shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
