I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize
