you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
