He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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