I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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