We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
