im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
