FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
