i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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