I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
